June 19, 2020

Hello, my name is Leona Chiaki Wilkes. I am 1/2 of a band, Barelyon. A little about me: Based on my name, and appearance, it should not come as a surprise to you when I tell you that my ethnicity is half African American and half Japanese. As a mixed child I experienced a lot of inner turmoil. I never felt like I belonged anywhere.

Being raised in Japan at a young age solidified my 'uniqueness'. The word ‘unique’ is really just a nice word to describe someone who is different from the ideal norm. So 'unique' becomes loaded. I was surrounded by judgment. Luckily, I was also surrounded by so much love and support as a kid that the judgment would become a passing spirit.

My mother knows how much I appreciate the way she brought me up, educated me, and protected me. But I have another person to thank for my ability to find happiness and comfort in this world, and her name is Mai. Our friendship started at 3 years old, in the summer of 1991. I often played alone in a park near our house. Families always avoided me. I remember always trying to get other kids to sit on the swings next to me, just to have one of their parents pull them away without a word. Looking back, it really made me sad, but I was really good at not letting it bother me while I was playing in the park.

One day I was walking back home as the 6pm chimes rang in our neighborhood. The loneliness overwhelmed me for a moment, and I started crying while I was walking home (I have always been an ugly crier. Like, SO MUCH snot guys). As I was walking and dripping snot on the empty streets of Akabane, Tokyo, a tiny, Japanese girl with long pigtails who was also on her way home walked towards me. We approach each other, and she stops two feet in front of me, but instead of asking me if I was ok, she simply asked, “Do you want to be BEST FRIENDS?” I said, “ok” and that was that. We have been bffs ever since. A rare 28 year friendship.

We do not get to see each other as much as we would like, but through the years anytime we see each other, we pick up right where we left off. We have been through a lot. She really helped me find strength in this world. I know you know this, Mai-chan, but I love you, and I want the world to know. I found a diluted version of our love in other people throughout the years. Though diluted, the support and love accumulated enough to make me into the person I am today.

Fast forward to 2014. I met Brion that year. I found a love and support that I never thought possible, nor expected at the time to ever find. He is a natural born, talented musician, and I was his muse. He told me I had a talent that I didn’t know I had: Song writing.

One day in a small room in Ditmas Park, Brooklyn, drunk off of a bottle of Macallan 12 yr, he pushed me to write a song. “Just write down anything that comes to mind,” he said. “Don’t have any expectations, it doesn’t have to be good. Just write down anything and we will turn it into a song”. He took out his guitar and started fucking around on it, letting his hands run through notes that seemed to just roll off the tip of his fingers before they were even mentally processed. One random riff got stuck in my head. I told him to hold on to it and just riff off of the riff (this is how we write to this day).

I started thinking about my insecurities, and how this world made a girl that looked like me feel. I HATE FEELING FEELINGS. I do not like to cry. It was extremely uncomfortable for me to write about my feelings. I never in a million years thought I would be able to create lyrics. My first song ‘Dig Down Deep’ was born. A song I wrote to myself, to remind myself that through all of the shit that you tread, there is always a way to overcome it if you dig down deep to find strength. It was a helpful cliche. I loved my first music baby.

Now we are in 2020. An absolute shit show of a year for so many reasons. But it is the first year in our lifetime that most of the world is experiencing the same thing. We are confused, scared, stressed, and mourning together. What a beautiful mess. We wrote 'Dig Down Deep' 6 years ago, and it has grown new meaning. It isn’t only for me anymore, it is for EVERYONE.

I am sure that most of us are on the same mysteriously hopeful spectrum. We want you to know that we are here, we feel you. We are not activists, we aren’t all that smart. Our contribution is music. On June 19th, we contribute ‘Dig Down Deep’ to the feelings you are feeling, to remind you of the hope that can arise from turmoil and doubt. On Juneteenth I release this song for everyone, but especially to the 'unique' ones, the ones whose differences offend the social norm. The ones that will change this world for the better.